


Of Banquets Bards and Proposals

by Dino_Cattivo



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e04 Of Banquets Bastards and Burials, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25963027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dino_Cattivo/pseuds/Dino_Cattivo
Summary: Geralt takes a rather different approch to save Jaskier at the banquet
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 16
Kudos: 380





	Of Banquets Bards and Proposals

**Author's Note:**

> I found [this](https://darkverrmin.tumblr.com/post/625190144016777216) absolute gem by [Ink and Font](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersunofdoom) on tumblr and had to make a fic for it. It turned angsty (like everything I touch) but I tried my best.

Jaskier was shaking with excitement but held in the loud, joyous laughter to keep up an at least somewhat professional appearance as he made his way to the main hall of Cintra’s castle. Ever since the moment, he had laid eyes on the castle’s towers in the distance he had been full of pent up energy, fidgeting and talking more than usual and annoying Geralt to no end. 

Now after he had bathed - not in the tub Geralt had sullen with Selkie guts, thank you very much - and was clothed in his best doublet which made him look rather dashing, he only grew more agitated. There was a constant skip in his step and he nervously tugged at his clothes making sure the already perfect fit was still excellent. 

He just couldn’t help himself. It had been so long since he had last played at royal court kept away by enraged fathers and husbands screaming for his head. In his defense he hadn’t known that any of the lovely ladies inviting him into their bed had been married or promised to be weeded as virgins...or at least he hadn’t known for most of them...okay maybe not most but more than half for sure. Anyway, it wasn’t really _his_ fault that he was so charming, handsome and irresistible that the women fell over themself whenever he visited court. A fact the men wanting to crush his balls clearly didn’t understand. Which was why he had been bereft of the pure joy of playing at court, the attention, food and wine, and companionship. Instead, they had called upon Valdo Marx of all people. **Valdo Marx!** The man wouldn’t even know true music if you bashed a lute over his head. Not that Jaskier would ever do something so dreadful to his sexy lady. 

But now after all years of missing out, he was finally here again already hearing the joy of a beginning fest in the distance. And all of it was thanks to Geralt, his somehow reluctant bodyguard, who Jaskier had pestered into protecting him this evening as he had listed all the pleasantries he would get out of the deal including ale that didn’t taste like piss. And as much as Geralt liked to pretend he was cold, heartless, and didn’t care about anyone but himself, Jaskier had traveled long enough with him to know that he was a big softy who helped often enough without the reward of coin. No harm would come to him tonight as long as Geralt was still breathing and able to lift a sword.

“...you see Geralt, there is a big difference between my humble self and Valdo. Mainly that **I** can actually play an instrument and don’t just torture the poor audience. There's no imaginativity in his performance as he keeps on playing _classics_ . Songs even older than you my friend but which have aged far worse than your pretty face. Or he is straight out stealing other people's work and claiming it as his own. Oh, Valdo _I see you_ . You may play it so slow the audience falls death and turn it into a tragedy but I recognize my work good sir. Can you believe it, Geralt? He stole **my** work and played it right in front of me in our last year in Oxenfurt. Unbelievable. Maybe if you had word with him he wouldn’t-”

“Jaskier.”

His mouth fell shut with a very audible click and he swallowed down the excited rush of words that threatened to spill any second. Geralt’s tone wasn’t the found exasperation he usually had when faced with Jaskier but actual annoyance as he was unable to keep up with the extreme chatter. And seeing as Jaskier had no intention to piss the man of which was solely responsible for his well being Jaskier saw it fit to be silent for now.

Geralt frowned at him sternly before signing as the crease between his browns disappeared. He leaned forward getting rather close. Joker could even smell the scent of the bathing salts he had put into the water for Geralt. It was the one he had bought two towns back and had hidden in Roache's saddleback when Geralt had commented that it didn't make his nose itch. His sensible Witcher senses easily took offense and at the beginning of their journey Jaskier had thrown out perfumes regularly until he found on Geralt didn't wrinkle his nose at.

Geralt tucked at Jaskier’s shirt once and straightened the fabric by running his hands down Jaskiers chest before nodding satisfied. The skin he had touched through the fabric tingled and Jaskier could feel the blood rushing to his face. Even after all this time, he was no more immune to Geralt initiating soft contact without being prompted then when his heart almost stopped the first time.

“Leave it.”

Jaskier nodded and held back from correcting his clothes and instead stuck close to Geralt's side bumping their shoulders in thanks and was very delighted when Geralt just pushed back. It had taken time until the man had gotten used to Jaskier's casual touches and affection. But now he even slept through Jaskier making a ruckus at the campsite when he previously woke and grabbed for his sword at the smallest of sounds Jaskier made.

They really had come a long way since their first meeting and even if he never said it Jaskier knew Geralt saw him as a friend. Even his **best** friend...which wasn’t that had if there wasn’t any real competition but still, it was _something_. And Jaskier had learned to be content with what he had. Geralt already gave him more than he deserved. It would be too greedy to hope for more. 

His crush for his companion had developed into love a long time ago and his heart longed to be whole again but he knew it could never be. Not because Witchers had no feeling or some other horseshit like that. That was just a cruel excuse for not paying contracts and resentment and Jaskier would and had started bar fights over the matter. 

No, he knew Geralt was able to love as he clearly endeared his father and brothers so dearly but he just wouldn’t love Jaskier in the way the bard wished for. As far as Jaskier knew he always spent his coin on women when they stayed a night for pleasure. Plus after everything he had been through he deserved better than Jaskier. A kind and understanding wife, who helped to heal the wounds Geralt’s bitter fate had left, with a lifespan matching his own so he wouldn't have to miss her and kids he could cherish. Everything Jaskier would never be able to give him and so because he loved him so dearly Jaskier would let him go to find his happiness. 

But just because he had accepted and learned to be content with what he had didn’t mean he wouldn’t show off and present himself from his best side this evening. Him getting Geralt to come along was only partly because he needed protection and the other part because he wanted Geralt to see how far he had come since stuffing bread people threw at him into his pants.

“Right, so stick close to me, look mean and pretend you’re mute,” Jaskier murmured counting on Geralt's enchanted senses to catch his voice over the loud roaring as they entered the main hall.

“Can’t have anyone finding out who you are.”

No, that he was ashamed of Geralt. He would stand on the tallest mountain or highest tower and scream his devotion and praise of Geralt for everyone to hear. It was just that it was easier for Geralt if people didn’t recognize him and his bad reputation despite Jaskier's best effort. He was more relaxed and didn’t grab his sword that easily. But Geralt never did anything to defend himself and this especially made Jaskier furious on Geralt's behalf. 

“ **Geralt of Rivia, the mighty Witcher!** ”

“Ohhhh shit”

So much for his plan of getting in Geralt's good grace and wooing him by showing him the benefits of being friends with a bard. His plans were further laid to ruin when the man, apparently an old friend of Geralt, commented on the witcher's attire. And sure it wasn’t his usual black and sat rather tight but not obnoxiously so and the color suited Geralt. Plus it was clean which couldn’t be said about any of Geralt's other clothes. So Jaskier really didn’t deserve the annoyed look he earned from Geralt.

With Geralt taken from his side to _catch up_ with his old friend Jaskier went to a corner to sulk and hide from vengeful men until it was time for his performance. He was fine. Totally fine. He didn’t need Geralt to keep his company. The man could spend his time with whomever he wanted, even an old friend he never mentioned before.

This moment of distraction as he mulled in self-pity was when one of the hostile parties he needed a bodyguard for found him. 

A man clothed like a Lord stepped uncomfortably close an angry sneer on his lips driving Jaskier back against the wall behind him and cutting off his escape routes. _Why did this have to happen right now with Geralt nowhere insight to come to his rescue?_ _What had he done to deserve this?_

“Something about you-”

Please just let it be a misunderstanding. Jaskier really didn’t feel like being beaten up today especially with the castle being so tall he couldn’t even dive out the window to flee. 

“-reminds me of a scoundrel I once saw fleeing my wife’s chambers!”

“Um, well..”

Probably true but he just couldn’t for the love of him recall who the wife was. And usually, he was very very good at remembering a lady’s face especially if the night had been good. You never knew when there would be a repeat performance. Or when you would have to dive for cover so you weren’t spotted by the husband. 

“Drop your trousers.”

“ **What?** ”

He screeched offended but he was allowed to get a little bit hysterical when a man, he never met before, just asked him to drop his trousers in a room full of people. He could at least get Jaskier a drink first, he had standards after all. If the man had been jealous of the attention and obviously good time Jaskier gave his wife he should have chosen a more private setting to demand passion. The lord wasn’t what Jaskier usually went for when wanting to scratch that itch in a way only a male partner could do but he was never opposed to an invitation to a warm bed. 

Or at least hadn’t been before he got closer to Geralt. In the last years the time he had to flee through windows to escape angry husbands and fathers had been reduced greatly as he opted to rather spend the night huddling against his Witcher for warmth next to the campfire or sharing a rough bed to save coins. It was rather foolish to decline soft sheets and good food and wine just to spend more time with a grumpy man who didn’t appreciate his presence half of the time but that was love for you. It took away your sanity and reason. 

“I didn’t get a proper look at the little shits face, but that pimbly arse I’d recognize anywhere.”

So much for wanting a taste of his skills. Jaskier looked around frantically searching for a way out of this situation and breathed in relief when he saw Geralt casually walking up to them.

“Well...uh, uh... _Geralt_.”

The moment the Lord turned and saw who exactly was standing behind him he went stiff, clearly uncomfortable with having the white wolf at his back. But Geralt for once went with a very diplomatic approach using actual words instead of grunts and shocking Jaskier to no end.

“Forgive me, my lord. _This_...happens all the time. Jaskier had a very rough childhood and regrets his sinful ways. I promise you he has become better since we got married.”

Jaskier choked in surprise thinking he must have misheard but the disbelieving look on the Lord’s face proved him otherwise. But how could he not if the man he had fallen so deeply in love without the blue mentioned marriage. A distance dream Jaskier rarely allowed himself and always ended up having to hide the tears after, once he came back to reality. 

_Perhaps Geralt felt just the same way as he did?_ Longing and wanting but too much of a coward to act on the feeling, just bottling it up inside till the point of drowning in it. And the mere thought of it madeJaskier giddy with hope. 

“Married?”

In his embarrassment, he hoped Geralt wasn’t listening to his heartbeat as it was beating so fast as if it wanted to flutter out of his chest and fly away. How the blood was rushing through his veins and his palms were getting sweaty with nerves. Or maybe he should listen so he knew what he was doing to Jaskier. How much power a single sentence had over Jaskier.

“ _Yes, dear._ ”

**Too sharp. Pointed.** Like the sword Geralt so excellently wilded to slay monsters, just like that he butchered Jaskier’s heart. The warm feeling in his stomach disappeared leaving a dark hole behind threatening to pull him down into the darkness. 

Geralt hadn’t meant it. HE DIDN’T MEAN IT. _How could Geralt do this to him? Betray him like this?_

“So I hope you could find it in your heart to forgive my partner.”

“Husband”

He monotonically spoke the bittersweet word which instead of joy only brought pain. Wishing he had taken the beating or public humiliation instead of this because from that he would have been able to recover. This right there was slowly choking him. Geralt was killing him with his careless words.

And as if he wasn’t already slowly tipping over the cliff's edge, destiny decided to give him the final push as all hell broke loose. He was confronted with an epic romance overcoming every obstacle to uniting the two lovers. Usually, he would compose endless ballads in honor of this night but now it only stung as he was faced with the realization that this was something he could never have. And he didn’t want to be jealous, didn’t want to become this ugly thing wishing for someone's unhappiness but he couldn’t stop himself his insides twisted in agony.

And thanks to Geralt's loose mouth they got kicked out of the castle really quickly, or rather Geralt did but Jaskier and his stupid foolish heart weren't ready to cut their losses and stay behind. Which meant he also lost any hope of drowning his suffering in alkohol or finding someone to share a bed and forget his suffering for an hour.

Instead, he was laying on his bedroll with his thin blanket. The hard forest ground poking into his flesh no matter how often he turned to avoid the sharp rocks or twigs. It was freezing because Geralt thought a fire would lead potential dangers to their camp and Jaskier was shivering and rubbing his hands and feet together to keep some feeling in them.

This was really the worst night of his life.

“I want a divorce.”

Jaskier murmured annoyed because it was either anger or tears and he really didn’t want to cry in front of Geralt unwilling to give the man the satisfaction of seeing how much he had hurt Jaskier. 

There was a hum from the other side of their camp because of course after ignoring him and he complains all the way out of the castle Geralt choose now to listen to him again.

“We are not married, Jaskier.”

“I’m well aware, _dear_. Thank you sooo very much,” Jaskier bit out.

“Got him to back off.”

“Oh yes, it did. Just as literally _everything_ else would have done. Everything! You could have just snarled at him and he would have pissed himself but noooo you had to spin lies like that.”

“Don’t be difficult.”

“Difficult? DIFFICULT?! You don’t know **difficult**. How dare you go around spitting lies about marriage like this. It will hurt people,” and with this Jaskier could feel the tears starting to come but he bit hard on his lips till he tasted copper, holding them back.

“Mhh”

“You don’t understand Geralt. You can’t just pretend for something like this. It is serious. Didn't you see what happened? Or are you really so untuned to emotions that it passed right over your head? Love is magic, breaking curses, and frankly speaking, made you look like an idiot with your sword. And here you are spouting nonsense about love and marriage. For what? Because it was convenient? Stuff like that only makes everything complicated and m-hearts will be broken in the progress,” He was barely able to stop the 'my heart' from slipping out. He knew he was unfair and way too harsh. But he couldn’t help himself. This night had turned him nasty lashing out at everyone.

“So don’t say I’m difficult when you are the one in the wrong.”

When he didn’t get an answer he just huffed in annoyance of Geralt getting out of an argument with silence again like he always did.

“Just forget it,” he huffed, unsuccessful biting back more tears but at least they were quiet. He rolled around showing Gerallt his back. 

“Jaskier?”

He didn’t give Geralt’s tentative question an answer, instead choosing to pout and try to will himself to fall asleep to end this horrible day. He shouldn’t have gone to court. It had been a horrible idea. Let Valdo Max have his fun and deal with the ultimate fallout after.

“Fuck,” he heard Geralt curse and could only agree. Fuck indeed. Everything was fucked now. He should finally grow a spine and back his things and go in the morning. 

Everything fell quiet and he thought Geralt had gotten the message and would leave him alone when suddenly a body flopped down next to him making him squeak. Damn Witcher and his silent movement needed a bell. He tried to shuffle away because he was a grown man and if he wanted to suffer alone he could do so even if Geralt was temptingly warm. But his escape was easily stopped by a muscled arm laid over his waist before it carefully dragging him till his back was pressed against Geralt's chest which was just unfair.

“What- **hey** \- Geralt. What are you doing? **Let me go** you...you...you Ogar.”

Gerald huff.

“You are freezing.”

“Wow, such observation skill. Are your enhanced Witcher senses telling you that? Or could it perhaps be because we are outside in the middle of the night without fire when I should rather be comfortable in a stranger’s bed in the castle? If only _someone_ hadn’t pissed of the **fucking** Queen.”

Geralt just hummed rubbing Jaskiers arm and fingers to get them warm but ignored Jaskier’s insults and attempts to free himself, just letting him exhaust himself until the day caught up with him and he fell quiet.

“You are really unfair right now Geralt,” he complained quietly but leaning back because if he wasn’t getting away he could at least enjoy his personal heat source.

Geralt just grunted and nuzzled against Jaskier's shoulder, pressed a kiss against Jaskiers neck making him fight Geralt’s hold again.

“Your heart.”

“What about it? I don’t know what you mean. Just let me go. I suddenly feel very warm. Look, Roach seems quite lonely over there. You should go check on her.”

Jaskier tried to get Geralt's hand off his chest where it was laying over his heart aware that it must sound like war drums under the witcher's fingers. Plus Jaskier was there must be at least a small scent of arousal with his arse pressed against Geralt’s groin.

“Mhh, I wouldn't mind.”

“Checking on Roach? I sure hope so or I will have a problem in the form of a you shaped doppler. I’m well aware you love that horse more than anything else in the world.”

“Not everything;” Geralt murmured into his shoulder where he continued to press kisses into Jaskiers skin pulling down the sleep shirt, which thankfully had enough give not to strangle Jaskier. Must be one of Geralt's then.

“y-your bro...brothers...a...a...and father.”

“And an annoying bard.”

“W-what?! I’m not-...Ge-Geralt. You mean it?”

Jaskier's voice was small, afraid it was all just a joke but Geralt gave an affirmative hum and interlaced their fingers rubbing over Jaskiers ring finger with his thump.

“Sleep Jask. Talk tomorrow.”


End file.
